The Stalker
by Space Oddity
Summary: Severus Snape, the paranoid Potions Master? Is he being stalked, or is it just a pigment of his imagination? Read this valiant tale of a Potions Master out to find himself, and whoever is following his greasy trail.


_I'll be in every smoky corner you've seen counting your drinks.__  
__I'll be the guy who drives past your house.__  
__I'll be hiding behind your mirror watching you crimp your hair.__  
__I'll follow you with sunglasses on._

-the stalker : piebald

**XXX**

A figure glanced around the corner, sweat pouring down his long face. His hair was matted and his long nose gleamed, even in the darkened state the corridor was in. He scuttled through the gap, furtively wishing for some light.

He heard something in the distance.

His wand was out and lit, and he tiptoed until he reached his destination:

His comfy yellow bed.

He waved his wand to activate the many spells that would protect him should anyone happen to break into his room.

Severus Snape believed he was being stalked.

XXX

Severus woke up the next morning, and gave a sigh of relief that he had made it through the night. He hadn't been so sure he would make it while he was on his way back from the Great Hall last night. Surely he had been followed, and he, Severus Snape, had outwitted whoever it was. For he was the mighty potions master! Who happened to be afraid of pillows, flowers, bright lights and green eyes. But that mattered not in the long run. After all, nobody truly needed pillows, flowers, bright lights or green eyes.

He got up out of bed, got dressed in the standard everyday black robes, of which he had 20 of, and rubbed his hands together. He had a double period with the Gryffindors today… That meant he would finally have some fun. It had been a whole week since his last fun lesson, and that had been his last double with the lions. He needed something to get him through the weekend, something that he could think about while at his… family … reunion. For Severus Snape was being forced into staying in a room with his brother, eat with his aunts and uncles, and play quidditch with his numerous cousins. All weekend long. His hair seemed to grow greasier with just the thought of climbing onto a broomstick and being hit with two black balls. Oh yes. The Gryffindor Trio would be suffering today.

XXX

Breakfast was a sordid affair, with all the other staff members trying to make pleasant conversation. They were answered with a glare that would have withered a sunflower. Severus sat munching his frosted mini-wheats, and glared at anyone who dared speak to him. Doing this lightened his mood slightly, but not nearly as much as seeing Hagrid's chair turn into a teapot and dance around singing some nonsense song.

The students were even unusually cheery this disgusting, bright morning. They were laughing and eating and having a general good time. One thing Severus disliked above all else was happy children. He made it his whole existence to hand out as many detentions as possible, to scowl and sneer in his students direction. If he could make them flinch, well, good for him. If he made them cry, even better. He had quite a reputation, he did, that Severus Snape.

XXX

The Gryffindor's made the best out of breakfast that they could, because today; well today was double potions with Snape. Not that it made all the difference, but Snape looked in a particularly vindictive mood today. Three members of this brave house were particularly quivering in their seats. Yes, this was the Golden Trio, the revered members of the house of the lion. They were afraid of Severus Snape, although this fear was not usual. The reason that the Golden Trio was afraid of their Potion's professor on this fine, fine morning, was that the previous evening they had snuck into his cold bedroom in the cold dungeon, and transfigured all his underwear into pink lace. Now, there was no way that Snape could possibly trace this misdemeanor back to them, but still. He looked as if he could.

"Aye, Harry, Snape looks a bit put off, don't you think?" Ron asked one of the other members of his trio, Harry. Harry nodded absently, trying to keep the mental of Draco Malfoy in that pink lingerie out of his mind. Ron sighed, knowing that his best mate was fantasizing about something, presumably the bacon that was on his plate, and turned to the third member of their group, Hermione. "I agree, Ron. I hope there's no way we can get caught. He would make sure that we never set foot inside Hogwarts again! Oh no…" she trailed off, her thoughts going to a horrible nightmare of being expelled from her beloved center of learning.

Harry snapped out of his fantasy, which was most certainly not about bacon, and said to his two best mates, "Come on mates. We better get to class, otherwise Snape'll really have our heads." His sidekicks in crime nodded and stood with him, their arms at their sides. Nothing could stop them now!

XXX

Well they were wrong about that. One thing could stop them, and that thing had a name. A scary, terrifying name. At least, that's what the owner of the name liked to think. Who is this person with the scary, terrifying name? Well it's Severus Snape, of course. And Severus Snape had some nasty plans for today. He had found the potion he was looking for, the one that would make all his students with the exception of the particularly bright one, Draco Malfoy, cower in fear. The Most Difficult Potion of Them All.

As predicted, when Severus mentioned this potion to his students, all activity stopped. Jaws hung open. A hand was raised. Not unexpectedly, it was Hermione Granger, that pesky girl who always reminded him of a chinchilla. "Yes, Ms. Granger?" Severus asked, his tone pleasant. "Professor Snape, are you sure this is the right potion? It sounds so… difficult." Hermione asked, fear apparent. "Of course this is the right potion, Ms. Granger. Now begin working! You have until the end of class to get as far as you can. The person who gets the farthest will receive something special." Severus said, satisfied that he could sit at his desk undisturbed for the next two hours.

Indeed, the next two hours passed peacefully for Severus. The students worked in a fearful silence, diligently watching over their cauldrons. They added each ingredient cautiously, stirring with fervor. Some students grew paler as each ingredient was added; Neville Longbottom for example. His was obviously going wrong, as he flipped through the pages and glanced anxiously up at Snape every few minutes. Then he would glance around, trying to find someone close enough who would genuinely help him. But, unfortunately for Neville Longbottom, he was surrounded by Slytherins this particular lesson. Snape chuckled inwardly, enjoying Neville's apparent discomfort. In fact, all of Gryffindor and Slytherin's discomfort. He was enjoying making his own house suffer for once. But, his eyes narrowing, he noticed two students who were peering over their cauldron and adding ingredients, but did not look as if anything was wrong. These two defiers of all laws of anything were Hermione Granger, and Draco Malfoy. Snape sneered, but wondered which one of them would come out with the better potion.

XXX

Well that was over and done with. It had been a test of great fortitude for Snape to admit that Hermione-the-chinchilla's potion had indeed been slightly better than his prodigy's. He had not been happy about this. But there was one thing Severus Snape was not, and that was a liar.

It was now dinnertime, and Severus was boding his time before he went down, for he was leaving after dinner. So, consequently, the longer he took in getting down there, the longer he had until he had to face his family. However, there is only so many times that one can brush back the already perfectly greased hair, or polish one's teeth, or even move ones teddy bear around the bed. Severus let out a sigh that signified his failure of occupying himself, and made his way downstairs.

XXX

An hour and a half later, Severus stood at the fireplace, gathering his wits. Merlin knew he would need them in less than 4.56109834627893 milliseconds. He sighed, and threw the Floo Powder into the grate. He was resigned to his fate. A roaring green fire sprang up, he stepped in and shouted "Llama Llama Duck!" He was sucked through the countless wizarding fireplaces, and thrown out viciously at the one he called home. The last thing he heard before he was dogpiled was "SEVRICA!"

XXX

**A/N:** So ends the first chapter. The song up top is The Stalker by Piebald.

Next Chapter : Snape hangs out with his familia. Quidditch, balls, and dirty Latin music to ensue.


End file.
